Dear Annie: My husband and I strongly disagree with your advice to "Old Enough to Know Better." Though she may feel guilt because her parents seem to be in need, she has no obligation to physically or financially care for them in any way. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves.
We have already taken the time to plan for our aging years by choosing a retirement center we can afford, that includes every service we may need from independent living to nursing home without our needing to move. We even have an account for funeral expenses.
Our children love us dearly, but planning for our future is our job. Our children's responsibility is to care for their children and enjoy their own lives, and our children know this. We have chosen to foster a loving relationship with them, and their caring for us is not a part of the plan. Thinking Ahead
It's a pity more parents do not do this. I do hope my MIL reads this. Like Thinking Ahead my parents have already made plans for their aging years. What a wonderful gift to give your children and grandchildren. Couples have a hard enough time providing for themselves and their children, it's unconscionable that grown adults would expect their children to financially provide for them or physically care for them. I wonder how many marriages have ended because of the 'burden' some parents place on their children? I am afraid I have to disagree with Annie on this one, adults should be responsible for themselves.
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I agree with you 100%! After the stress of just moving my in-laws, my husband and I sat down and had a heart-to-heart about the future. I am certain they have expectations that others will step in and care for them, and I needed to make sure my DH was on the same page of letting that be someone else who feels so moved. I refuse to be obligated to someone who doesn't help themselves. Oddly, we both agreed that had they lived, we would have gladly taken in my grandparents because they had always been such a shining example of self-reliance.
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