Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they presume to speak for ALL homeschoolers. They make inane comments like
- All homeschoolers belong to H$LDA
- All homeschoolers support ____________ for President.
- Homeschoolers don't believe in evolution.
And other blanket statements, assuming that just because I homeschool, I am willing to walk in lockstep with them, I am not. It's bad enough that non-homeschoolers force myths and stereotypes on homeschoolers, it's downright infuriating when fellow homeschoolers attempt to do it. The homeschool community is just as diverse as the public school community, just as no one group of public school parents can speak for all public school parents no one group of homeschoolers can speak for all homeschooling parents.
Then there is the issue of homeschool groups. There are plenty of 'Christian' homeschool groups, that require their members to sign statements of faith in order to join. They make no bones about only wanting 'Christians' in their group and not wanting to associate with non-Christians. These groups mainly spend their time praying and talking about religion. So why do the members of the 'Christian' groups join inclusive and secular groups and then try to monopolize the groups with prayer request? Why do they get all offended when they are asked to conduct their prayers privately and stick to homeschool topics? Why do they intentionally or unintentionally try to discourage the very people the inclusive and secular groups were created for from participating by dominating the group with 'religion' and getting all offended when they are asked not to? They have their 'Christian' groups where they can pray, bash those of differing beliefs, and talk religion all they want, is it to much to ask that they not infiltrate groups that are created for those who want less/no religion in their homeschooling journey.
If those of us who aren't white Fundamentalist Christians sometime seem hostile, maybe it's because we feel voiceless and homeless. We get tired of explaining to others that just because we homeschool we don't belong to H$LDA, we don't support H$LDA's goals, we do believe in evolution and we aren't going to vote for so-and-so for President just because some homeschooling guru said we should. That the homeschooling community is a diverse community full of Pagans, African-Americans, Gays & Lesbians, Jews, Pastafarians, Democrats, Republicans, Independents and any other group you can think of. We get tired of being told we aren't good enough to join the "Christian" groups because they only want to associate with other Christians, only to have these same Christians join the inclusive or secular groups we create for ourselves. Don't get me wrong I don't mind Christians joining my group, I consider myself a Christian. I do mind them trying to turn it into a "Christian" group and driving my Pagan, Jewish and other non-Christian friends away.
12 comments:
Don't forget that most so-called "Christian" HS groups specifically exclude large numbers of Christians by wording their SOF's so that it only applies to certain types of Christians. If a HS family is Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Seventh-Day Adventist, Jehovah's Witness, or Mormon, then they can forget about joining our local allegedly "nondenominational Christian" HS group.
Even if they are Protestant, they may be made to feel unwelcome in the group. For example, a friend of mine from our inclusive group is a pretty hard-core Evangelical but happens to be her husband's 2nd wife. Doesn't matter that the 1st wife abandoned him over a decade ago and has had no contact since except to legally sever parental rights. Clearly, this is not the typical divorce/remarriage situation here but apparently that doesn't matter to the overly judgmental folks in the "Christian" HS group.
crimson wife, I am so glad you brought up how many people are excluded by the typical Christian groups.
And I am sure that all of us that have been excluded from "homeschool" groups at some point feel that we need a voice or a group that we can call home.
Once had a conversation with another homeschool mom, and brought up my friend whom she had not met.
Lady: "Where does she go to church."
Me: "Oh, she doesn't. She is Pagan."
Lady: "Then why on EARTH does she homeschool??"
Ugh. I think that is an equal hurdle we will all be jumping over the next many years.
Wait til they find out I'm a registered Democrat. I'll be excommunicated.
You have brought up some wonderful points.
One of the reasons I decided to homeschool was so that I could offer my children a variety of views so that they could form their own opinions on different topics. I want them to be thinkers, not blind followers. We are Catholic. What does it matter if I call myself Catholic if I don't understand what that means? I want my children to follow the message, even if that means they don't always follow the rules of our faith.
And I would miss out on meeting so many interesting people if I only looked for friends in my own group! I have something to learn from each person!
Christine, I know what you mean. When I was at the College Info Day I was approached by one of the leaders of a Christian Group, who implied I couldn't really be a homeschooler because I didn't belong to a homeschool group. When I stated that I did in fact belong to a homeschool group she had the nerve to tell me "I don't know you, so you can't belong to any of the Christian Groups" as IF they were the only homeschool groups. I loved being able to tell her that in fact I was the moderator for the inclusive homeschool group (PEAK) on the coast. I wonder if they realize how offensive they are when they demand to know what homeschool group, church or political party we belong to. Somehow I don't think they are behaving as Jesus would.
jugglingpaynes, that was one of the reasons we decided to homeschool too.
I have friends from many diverse backgrounds, each one has enriched my life in someway.
This is very, very true. As Crimson Wife mentioned, many Protestants feel excluded from many (most?) homeschool groups which claim to be inclusively Christian because "Christian," to some, means "fundamentalist Christian" or "evangelical Christian." I am neither one, but tried to be open-minded about joining our city's main HS group until they began to do some gay-bashing on the email loop -- an act I didn't feel was particularly "Christian" in any sense. We left the group, needless to say, but that left us with a real paucity of options in our city. Believe me, I am grateful to the fundamentalists for having advocated for the homeschooling rights we now enjoy, but I wish that there were more options for secular, Pagan, Jewish, Atheist, and other homeschooling families.
As a Southern Baptist I didn't think I would have a problem joining the local Christian groups. I wasn't happy about being asked to sign a statement of faith, but OK, whatever.
But I happen to believe in theistic evolution, which means I am hell bound and unworthy to associate with according to some Christian Homeschoolers. But like you adsoofmelk I wish we secular & other homeschoolers had more choices. I am just so happy Natalie started PEAK.
Well hey, want to bring the marshmallows for our mutual sojourn in the toasty beyond? I'll supply the chocolate and graham crackers, and we can all sit around and enjoy our satanic s'mores.
BTW, I referred to one of your resources on my site (and gave you finder's credit, of course). Feel free to use anything you see on my site if you want!
Thanks, adsoofmelk.
The s'mores sound good, I'll be happy to bring the marshmallows. ;>)
Hmmm, I'm not sure I'm following this conversation exactly since I stumbled upon it.
I homeschool. I'm an Adventist. I belong to a truely non-denominationl homeschool group, as do two other SDA families. We are fully accepted and valued. I'm not sure where you are located, but I have had no trouble being accepted because I'm SDA in my part of the country.
Anonymous, I live in the Bible Belt.
When I first started homeschooling the only homeschooling groups in my area were Christian Groups that required you to sign a statement of faith to join.
An Inclusive group was started for those of us who weren't welcome in the EXCLUSIVE Christian Groups. Guess what the same Christians that wanted to exclude us from their group joined our inclusive group. They then started dominating the message board with prayer and prayer request creating an environment where those of different faiths felt uncomfortable and unwelcome.
You are lucky you live in a part of the country where you had access to a homeschool group where you were accepted and valued no matter what your beliefs were.
You stated that you belong to a non-denominational group though, does that mean that only Christians are welcome in your group? What about Pagan, atheist, Jewish and other homeschoolers, would they be welcome?
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