Neither a borrower nor a lender be

From Shakespeare's Hamlet, 1603:
LORD POLONIUS: Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

I do wish my in~laws would take this sage advice. Instead they seem to view my husband as their own personal cash cow. Whenever their poor choices result in financial problems they expect my husband to bail them out because he's the oldest, because he has a college degree (a college degree he paid for with student loans, a small scholarship and a Pell Grant), because.....................(he's dumb enough to).

On November 6, 2006 my husband loaned his brother $1,500, his brother has yet to repay one penny of the money. Normally we wouldn't have had that kind of money to loan, but we had recently taken out a signature loan in order to repair our roof, we got a little extra in case more unexpected problems cropped up. Originally we were just replacing the shingles on the roof, but when they started working the roofers discovered the decking had rotted and had to be replaced, hence the signature loan. So I have a loan with an interest rate of 8.45% to make payments on every month, while my brother in law enjoys an interest free loan from us that he has yet to make a payment on. And you can bet every month when I have to make the payment and I think of all the things I could be doing with that money my blood pressure starts to rise. To add insult to injury this is the same brother in law that sent me nasty emails after his wife the drama queen lied about something I supposedly said (and apparently it wasn't the first time she made stuff up about me either). While he has yet to apologize he didn't have any trouble taking money from me, and not only has he not repaid us he hasn't bothered to tell me thank you. Of course he will justify that by saying he never asked for the money. Which he didn't, he had his Mommy call and tell Hubby that Brother Plumber (who owns his own business) would lose everything if Hubby didn't bail him out. So after numerous phone calls from his Mommy while she badgered and guilted him into it Hubby charged to the rescue, irregardless of his wife's feelings and regardless of the fact that he had just finished telling me we needed to tighten our belts and pay down our debts ASAP, because he won't have a job in a couple of years unless he relocates (that's another post).

And it's not like we don't need the money. This year we have had a lot of unexpected medical expenses; Lord Epa dislocated his patella necessitating an ambulance ride (not covered by our insurance) and an emergency room visit (covered after we meet the deductible), both boys had to have four impacted wisdom teeth removed (another deductible to meet and additional charges because we chose to use a local oral surgeon rather then force the kids to endure a two hour car ride in order to use an in-network provider) and I have had to have several procedures (that are hopefully over). Not to mention his looming unemployment. Our eldest son is also in college and I would love to be able to help him financially, but thanks to my brother in law we couldn't even purchase the lap top that he was required to have, for him. And because of my husbands income (apparently they don't care how much debt you owe or how much money your stupid in~laws milk out of you) he didn't qualify for any grants or scholarships. So it really makes my blood boil when my husband refuses to help his own son, because nobody paid for him to go to college, but he will all to readily throw money to his Momma, brother and sister every-time they ask. This isn't the first time we have bailed brother in law out of a financial mess.

I have to admit I am proud of my son for paying for his own college education by working his butt off. But he is only 18, I wish he didn't have to work so hard. And I wish my stupid brother in~law the plumber (who only works on new construction) would pay us back.

Why Christmas isn't Merry

by alasand

I loved Mother Crone's, Gift Receiving Etiquette(or how not to swear at the relatives), so I decided to share my pet peeve, gift cards. I am not sure why people think gift cards are superior to cash, at least with the cash I get to DECIDE what store to go to and what to buy. With a gift card I am stuck shopping at the store of the gift givers choice. Most gift cards also have an expiration date so I am stuck shopping when I don't want to. To add insult to injury the gift card and the gift never come to the same amount, so there is either money left over on the gift card that goes to waste or I have to make up the difference out of my pocket. Is it really a gift if I pay the majority of the price?

The most annoying gift card giver gives the same gift every year. A gift card to Bookstore X. Bookstore X is located a convenient 10 minutes from her home. She doesn't seem to care that I do not have a Bookstore X in the city I live in. That I detest Bookstore X, and would much rather shop at Bookstore Y which is 30 minutes from my home and a convenient 5 minutes from the soccer fields my son has soccer practice at. Nope every year I am faced with the same dilemma, toss the gift card to Bookstore X, try to get by Bookstore X while we are in town for Christmas to visit the relatives, or make a 1 1/2 hour drive in horrible traffic to the nearest Bookstore X. Why couldn't she just give me and the kids cash? If she really wants us to have a book from Bookstore X why can't she call or email and find out what book/books we want? So I'll take a page from Scrooges book and say bah humbug to gift cards everywhere and the annoying people who give them. Especially when the same annoying person that gives me and the kids $20 gift cards expects a $300+ present in return and expects us to go to the trouble of hauling it to them. Which means I either have to ride in very cramped quarters so my stuff can be in the cab of the truck or my stuff (including the presents I bought for my parents) gets dumped in the back of the truck at the mercy of the elements when it's drizzling rain, because her gift won't fit in the trunk of my car. And they wonder why I am not a happy camper.

Don't get me wrong, except for minor annoyances like the above and Hubby having to go fix busted water pipes the next day (They just had to tell him about them Christmas, although they had been busted for awhile. They had also conveniently gotten the wrong stuff for Hubby to fix it with, heaven knows how much Hubby paid to get the right stuff to fix it.), when we could have been spending quality time together, I did have a nice time. I got to visit with my parents the next day while Hubby was fixing broken water pipes, we got a chance to visit some of our friends, and we did manage to make it by Bookstore X so me and the kids could pick out some books. But boy am I glad Christmas only comes once a year.